Homeschooling with ADD / ADHD Children
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I have a little girl who struggles a lot with Attention Deficit Disorder. It is a big challenge for her, but also for the whole family, especially with homeschooling. I am going to share some of the struggles as well as some tips for homeschooling with ADD.
I love this darling girl of mine and have struggled with writing this for some time now because I don’t want to just share all of the negatives of this amazing girl. So don’t take this the wrong way. She is a light in my life and to so many others. Yes, it has been a struggle, but I love her through it all!
We have a history of ADD in my family. I have not personally had that struggle, but a few of my siblings do, as well as my father. They were never diagnosed until they were adults, but always struggled with focus, organization and other aspects related to ADD. We don’t seem to have the hyperactivity issues, mostly just the attention issues.
When I started homeschooling it was because my oldest had higher than average intelligence. My second child came along and is a whole different type of learner. She is artistic and flits about from one thing to another. She really struggled with learning to read and with any type of organization. She also had regular melt-downs. She could not keep her room clean to save her life, and could not really clean her toys without someone sitting by her telling her which thing to do next. Every choice was a major issue.
Having a husband as a therapist can really be a huge help! He deals with ADD/ADHD issues on a regular basis and helped me recognize her struggles as an attention issue. He also knew how to talk her through her emotional issues and taught me how to handle it in a calmer way.
My husband helped me through the tests they give for diagnosing ADD/ADHD in children. There are different tests for parents and for teachers to take. Since I am both to my daughter, I took both tests- one as a parent and one as a teacher. My daughter topped the charts on the inattentive scale. When I saw the results, it made me realize that our struggles were not personality or parenting issues. I felt like I finally was beginning to understand her and know how to deal with her.
While everyone has differing opinions and feeling about medications (and I would REALLY rather not argue these points on this post), we did choose to medicate her for her ADD. We chose the smallest possible dose, but it made all the difference in the world. It was a VERY hard choice for me to make because I have always tried to avoid medications as much as possible. However, I do not regret choosing this route for our daughter. It has been a night and day change for this sweet girl, and I am grateful to have the option.
Symptoms of ADD in Children:
- Careless mistakes
- Not paying attention to details
- Easily distracted, trouble staying focused
- Seems to never listen to you
- Has trouble remembering things and following through with instructions
- Not able to stay organized
- Gets bored with projects or tasks before completed
- Regularly loses things
- Constantly wiggling
- Often leaves seat when sitting quietly is expected
- Moves around constantly
- Talks excessively
- Has difficulty playing quietly
- May lose temper easily
- Often impulsive- acting without thinking
The second half of the list tends to be seen more in those with hyperactivity. (source) Some children struggle with inattentiveness as well as hyperactivity. Overall, though, it is the same disorder and kids may have a combination of any of the above symptoms. If you think your child is struggling with this, there is a free test online that you can check out. But I do recommend seeking professional advice for a diagnosis.
Positive Effects of ADD / ADHD in Children:
Having Attention Deficit disorder is not all bad. There are some wonderful parts of it as well. Most people who have ADD / ADHD have some of these incredible qualities:
- Highly artistic or creative- their heads are full of marvelous daydreams and ideas
- May notice things that others do not see
- Flexible and open to new and different ideas
- Enthusiastic about life
- Spontaneous
- Lots of energy and drive for the things that matter most to them
- Hyper Focused on things they really care about
Tips for Homeschooling with ADD Children:
Since I was already homeschooling when I realized the problems my daughter was having with her ADD, I was so grateful that I had made that choice. I know the struggle that kids can have in school if they have this disorder. I saw so many kids growing up fall through the cracks because of learning challenges and disorders. I also saw the struggles my brothers had in school.
I think having her home with me has made her feel so successful in her education. She is thriving! I have learned so much the past few years from parenting and teaching her. It has made me a more patient and understanding mother and I feel like I am able to handle the problems that come with it in a much better way. Following are a few things that have helped me get through our homeschool days with less stress.
- Keep Calm!!! This has been the biggest issue for me. I used to get so frustrated with her behavior because I didn’t understand why she was acting the way she was. I have learned that when I get upset, it only escalates her frustrations. When I learned to control myself and my emotions, it is so much easier to support her.
- Limit distractions. My daughter is very easily distracted by things going on in the house. Often she will cry and say that it is too loud for her to concentrate. Sometimes the best thing is for her to take her school books and sit alone on her bed where nobody was talking, playing, or doing something that may distract her.
- Give clear, simple instructions. Give instructions one at a time. She gets overwhelmed by having to do too many things at once. Sometimes it is best to just give instructions for one thing and let her finish that item before telling her about the next one.
- Be close to offer assistance as needed. If she can’t figure out what to do in a school book, she is quick to melt to a puddle and give up. However if I am close by and calmly walk her through it, the issues go away more quickly.
- Allow breaks for movement and snacks as needed. It is ok to give a 5 minute run-around break if that’s what your child needs- especially in a homeschool! Sometimes involving food is the best way to keep them engaged! It’s also ok to let them walk around or do something movement related while you read to them. My daughter loves to color or paint while I read history or science to her. Often I will print out a coloring page related to what we are reading. It keeps her really focused!
- Offer regular encouragement and support without comparisons. I think my little girl is aware that she learned differently than her older brother. I try really hard to support her in her struggles and encourage her wherever needed. But I do not ever point out her weaknesses to her or compare her style of learning to her brother’s. I do, however make sure to point out her strengths and to praise her for them. She needs to know what she is good at and gain confidence in herself.
It is definitely possible to be successful at homeschooling a child with ADD or ADHD. In fact it may be a much better option for your kids. Yes, there will be struggles and very hard days, but you can help your child learn the way they need to learn. You can guide them with the one-on-one support that they need. You can help them feel confidence and security in who they are!
Watch my Called to Homeschool Podcast Episode on Homeschooling Kids with ADHD:
Thank you so much for this post. I just brought home my 8th grader this year to homeschool… he has ADHD and this was eye opening. I typically say sit up straight and go to a desk when writing…. but I guess it’s ok for him to go to his room on his bed in order that he get the quiet he needs as long as his writing is his best work. I have been having some melt downs myself as I now have 3 with me all at different levels. I am feeling overwhelmed, as we are also in transition and will be moving hopefully in the next few months. Any other advice is welcome… prayer is needed … and peace to reign in our home is the goal! From one homeschool mom to another… THANK YOU!
Prayer is always needed in this house as well. I am so glad that this helped you, and I know what you mean about having your own melt downs! You will do a great job and your kids will benefit! Best of luck in your new journey.
Good tips! You described my oldest 2 children to a T!! We haven’t officially had him diagnosed, but he is definitely on the scale. I do love how creative he is though! 🙂
Karyn, thank you for such a helpful post. I’m homeschooling our 4th grade son because being an advanced learner combined with inattentiveness was making school pretty difficult for him. Homeschooling isn’t much easier, though, and we’ve begun to consider medication. I was wondering – have you seen any impact from your daughter’s medication on her creativity? I worry about dulling the inventiveness that makes my son most excited (and distracted).
You are so welcome! I am glad it was helpful to you. My daughter is still wonderfully creative & artistic. I do not regret our choice to use medication at all. Good luck with your decisions! I know it is a hard one…
I have an 8 year old daughter who also sounds similar to yours, she’s about to finish second grade and has been asking to homeschool since pre-k! She has been diagnosed with ADD and I was wondering what curriculum/curriculums you chose to use? Thanks, Lisa
Thank you thank you thank you for this post. Your daughter sounds so much like mine (but mine is also super active). She is only 4 so her doctor doesn’t want to put her through the actual testing process yet to verify what we all think, but it is clear she has ADHD. My brother and mom both have some form ADD/ADHD. I have very clear memories of my brother struggling and trying out different medications. At that time though, there wasn’t nearly as much known about ADD/ADHD as today. You give me so much hope for my daughter and homeschooling. I know it’s the right choice but man my patience runs so thin some days. We are starting occupational therapy soon so that is really exciting for all of us. For now we are sans medication… to be revisited in a few years. And for Karen earlier, my brother had and still takes medication. His hobby is photography and he has garnered a lot of attention for his photographs and interviews with homeless residents in our area. He is currently working on a book with the photos and stories. My mom is an artist. Though her original training was pottery (her MA is in this), she is currently focused on wall hangings. Very cool colorful ones. It most definitely won’t mess with your son’s artistic abilities 🙂
Thanks for your comment! I love hearing the stories of others. Patience is definitely the biggest struggle for me. I found it interesting that your brother went through this as I have had the same situation. My younger brother struggled through school- was never diagnosed, but was a difficult child. As an adult, his wife recommended he get “tested”. He began medication as an adult and it changed his world! He just graduated from dental school and is going on to become an oral surgeon- all with straight A’s.
Oh my lands! Thank you so much for writing this. My son was diagnosed last year with ADHD and the doctor wanted to medicate immediately. We opted not to do so, but to look into more counseling for him to deal with his anxiety. It has been a year now and he really is not any better, so we are starting the whole medication process.
We also started homeschooling this year and it has been a real struggle. I think my problem is that I am just doing “school” at home and I need to change it up a bit. I was not going to homeschool next year, but maybe if I can make some changes, it will be better for the both of us. Thanks again!
I am SO glad to help! It’s a struggle… Good luck! You can do it.
Thank you!! I homeschool my 11 year old daughter that has ADD. Today was one of those hard days.. I needed some encouragement and reading your story gave me the relief I was looking for it. You described my daughter in your words, I have to sit with her the entire time. I also have a toddler and sometimes, most of the times I feel horrible as a mother because I don’t have enough time to play with her as I should and wanted. Thank you for sharing ❤
Yes! It’s tough & you are NOT alone on that. Glad to help! <3
I know this post is a few years old, but I want to thank you for it anyway. We’ve been homeschooling for about a year and a half now, and we’ve just figured out that our son has ADD. We are working with his doctor and looking for a counselor, but it’s still very new. I’m confused about how to continue homeschooling, what I need to change, how to help him. We have the added challenge of having a child with a near genius level IQ. I’ve been reading through a couple of your posts for the last few days, and they are really helping me not feel so hopeless. So thank you, for being willing to put your situation out there.
I remember the hopeless feelings! Hang in there, it gets better once you understand it a little more! <3 Hugs & best of luck!
I’m so great full for coming across this. I have 5 children and the eldest (boy) 11, has been diagnosed with ADHD but I am convinced that my second and third boys also have it although the third doesn’t need to move as much. Home schooling is such a struggle for me and I loose my patience almost every day as the chaos is just unbearable. We have just had a referral made to see about medication for the eldes. I also have a four year girl and a 1.5 year old girl who is crawling everywhere! Any advice it’s on managing school? I just find that each child needs undivided attention which I can’t give. Tips welcome!!,
I am in a very similar situation! We have an 8 yo, 6 yo, 3yo and 1yo. There is always chaos but most especially when we start school. I have no good ideas but would LOVE to hear other folks’ good ideas!!!
Hi! An old but very useful post. I have suffered add all my life and now my 7 year old son has it. He hasn’t been diagnosed. He’s in grade 2 and I’m considering Homeschooling. Someone else asked this question but other wasn’t answered; pls do answer it now. What curriculum do you use that works for your daughter? Also what medication does she take? Any side effects? Lastly, how do you manage your housework, getting cooking and cleaning done on time? I’m never able to get anything done when the kids are at home. Kids being home full time will really put a strain on me.
Thank you for this post! Our 9 year old grandson is currently being tested for ADD/ADHD, and he shows all the signs so far. He hates school, and every day he goes, I feel like we are sending him off for torture. I want to consider homeschooling him, but didn’t know if he would have the same issues at home, and not do the work needed. It’s so hard to get him to spend much time at all on his homework and the remote learning. Can you let me know what curriculum and/or style of home schooling you use? wondering if there’s a particular style that an ADHD student would do best with. Thank you so much! -Donna
This was really helpful for me as I am trying to find help with my daughter. I was wondering whether you had any suggestions for books that helped in learning to manage and aid the flourishing of your daughter in this area?
Great read!! Thanks for sharing such a great blog, blog like these are really helpful.