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Homeschooling Fears Revisited

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When I first chose homeschooling, my biggest hurdles to overcome were all of my fears. Looking back on it all, my biggest  homeschooling fears were things that I barely even think about anymore. After homeschooling for quite a few years now, I have overcome all (or most) of them completely. I know most people choosing to homeschool struggle with many of these same fears, so I thought I would touch on them and how I got past them. Maybe it will address one of your biggest fears and help you in your choice to homeschool your kids. Want more homeschooling tips? Listen in to my podcast: Called to Homeschool.

Homeschooling Fear Revisited from Teach Beside Me

My Homeschooling Fears:

Fear of What Others Think

As silly as this sounds, my fear of what others would think was probably my biggest fear to overcome right from the very start. I remember worrying about what everyone thought all the time. I had a sister who really didn’t agree with my choice, so that worried me a lot.  I worried about telling friends & neighbors, about what to say at the doctor’s office, in the store, etc… It was mostly the worry of everyone thinking we were strange, or doing the wrong thing. I think my insecurities were because it was so new and I was still slightly uncomfortable with the whole thing. After years of homeschooling my kids, this fear is gone. I am actually quite proud of my choice to homeschool my kids now. I don’t care what others think anymore because I have come to the realization that this is the right thing for me and my family. It has been a good choice for us and I really enjoy it. I no longer fear that  awkward moment when I tell the person in the grocery store that we homeschool and that is why my kids are ALL with me today. People are all very respectful of my choice and are even impressed (at least they pretend to be!).

Fear of Doing it Wrong

I spent so much time learning about all of the different homeschooling methods. I wanted to make sure I did it the right way from the start. I wanted to make sure I was homeschooling the right way. What if I chose the wrong kind of math curriculum for my son and he didn’t learn fast enough or wasn’t smart enough.  What if  I didn’t teach my kids the same things that the kids in public school were learning?  What if I didn’t do enough?  There seemed to be so many things that I could do wrong.

I overcame this fear when I had a complete mind shift. Wrong according to who?  Our society has a lot of pre-set notions that we feel we need to live up to. I realized that my choice to homeschool meant I was putting my children’s education into my hands. I know my children the best out of anyone else. The choices I make for their education are what I feel will help them the most. This doesn’t mean that I do thing perfectly and have not made mistakes along the way. I have definitely made mistakes, but I learn from them and grow from them. There have been curriculum choices that haven’t fit well with our family, but we move on and try something new. The many options and flexibility are really the VERY best part of homeschooling. There are so many wonderful ways to learn in this world.  Enjoy it!

Fear of Not Knowing Enough

I did really well in school. I was always in advanced or A.P. classes. I graduated from college with honors. I even have a degree in education and taught school for several years. Even with all of that, I felt somewhat inadequate when I chose to start homeschooling.  What if I didn’t know enough math or science?  How would I teach math to my kids when I HATED it in school?  I don’t have a great memory and don’t remember everything I learned in school.

Something I learned and LOVE is that now I get to learn right along with my kids! I have always really enjoyed learning and love the new things I continue to learn as I am teaching my kids. It is a wonderful thing to be able to continue expanding my mind right along with my kids.  The other very enlightening thing is that I can take it one year at a time.  I started homeschooling one child who was 5 years old.  Kindergarten is very do-able! I knew enough to teach my kindergartner. The next year I realized I could also very easily teach first grade. Each year I feel more confident and more capable of teaching my kids. I also feel more confident in my knowledge and abilities.

Fear of Not Having Enough Patience or Energy

When I tell people that I homeschool, one of the biggest comments I hear is “Wow! You must be really patient!  I could never stand to be around my kids ALL day!”  I am definitely not always patient. I loose my cool a lot. I yell at my kids. I get frustrated with them all the time. I also have many days when I do not have the energy to do all that I wanted to do. I have to push myself just like I have to push my kids at times. Homeschooling is not always a pretty picture in our house. I will be completely honest in that fact. I want you to know that you are not alone if you feel tired, or frustrated.  Those are the days that I change things up or take things easier. I have to remind myself that if they were enrolled in school, they would have days when they did less or learned less. There are days when LeapFrog or The Magic School Bus have to teach my kids and that is perfectly O.K.

Fear of not being creative enough

If you spend much time online looking for fun educational ideas, you will begin to feel really inadequate. I am a crafty person, but just because I sometimes enjoy it that doesn’t mean that I ALWAYS want to do big creative projects every day. Creativity takes a lot of energy and usually makes a mess!  If you are not a crafty person you may think you are not creative enough to be a homeschool mom. Don’t compare yourself. Think of your strengths and work with them.  School is not all about crafts and creativity. There are so many different ways to learn. Plan a regular time for a creative project (monthly or weekly). Don’t ever feel like it has to be an every day thing. It is perfectly normal for most days to just be regular old school days.

Fear of “ruining your kids”

I was so worried that my choice to homeschool my kids would just ruin them for society. They would never fit in and would be labeled as the weird ones forever more. I worried that they would miss out on all of those things that “regular” school kids would do like riding the bus, going to prom, going to a science fair, attending graduation, etc.  I still think about those things fondly in my past and feel a touch of sadness that my children will not have those experiences. I worry that it will make them not fully understand the society we live in if they are not participating in those activities. I guess this fear is less of a fear because I see how beautifully my children are turning out despite not being in school. I know now that they are not being ruined by missing out on a few trivial events. I see the wonderful traits they do have and no longer fear ruining them.  There are times when I have to explain certain things to my kids (like a cafeteria or school bells) but really, they are surviving just fine without them!

 

Fear of not enough Social interaction

Socialization always seems to be the biggest worry and question from others about homeschool.  Will your kids have friends?  Will they be the odd balls because they don’t know how to interact with people?  Don’t think for a minute that because you are homeschooling, your kids will never interact with others. Homeschooling is NOT just sitting around in our house day after day and week after week. Since we started, I have always been involved in a homeschool co-op with many wonderful families that we have become good friends with. Out state and city have so many activities for homeschoolers that more often that not I have to say no to more things than I can say yes to. My kids get more than enough socialization in their lives. They have lots of good friends. We also attend church and different clubs and lessons. I do not feel like my kids are lacking in this area at all. They are very much capable of making friends and interacting with all of the “regular kids” in this world! Homeschoolers spend more time in the real world learning. They are not in classrooms all day, they are learning from real life and gaining more socialization to this world than most kids.

Fear of not doing well in college

While we are still many years from worrying about college, it is a fear in the back of my mind.  Will my kids know enough to do well in college?  Will they be able to get in?  Last year I attended a local event that featured kids who were homeschooled through high school and were either applying for college or already attending college. These kids were some of the brightest most accomplished kids I have ever seen. I was so impressed with their knowledge and their poise.  These kids graduated from high school at 16 and were working on college courses already. They were intelligent and articulate. They were studying what they loved. They were teaching classes to younger kids. Their experiences and accomplishments really inspired me and helped me to see what can be done. It took those fears away from me and helped me see that their are so many possibilities.  A higher percentage of homeschoolers vs. public schooled kids graduate from college. Statistics tend to show that homeschooled kids do better on standardized tests, do better in college socially and academically. The odds are in their favor.

Are you still afraid?  Sometimes all it takes is just taking the leap and starting out. The first day my son did not get on the school bus his kindergarten year will forever be in my memory. I was afraid, but I also felt SO free!!  You can do it & you and your children will succeed!

Adviceformyyoungerself

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13 Comments

  1. You are right — people CAN do it and they will succeed. I love your list of homeschooling fears. I think they are very common, and once you’ve been homeschooling any length of time you see that they are largely unfounded! Glad I stopped by to read your blog today!

  2. This post resonates wholly with me. My daughter is 11months old and as a teacher, who has a post-grad degree in educational practice and theories, I know I don’t want my children to go through the British education system. Yet I’m still scared of what others will think and feel intimidated by the task and despite my knowledge and experience feel inadequate to do everything justice but I’m still determined to do it.
    Thanks for letting me feel normal for wanting to homeschool and be scared by it at the same time!!

  3. This was very interesting to read. In the fall I will begin full-time homeschooling my son for kindergarten and my daughter for pre-k. (Right now they go to preschool out of the home three days a week.) My biggest fear actually wasn’t on your list, but it is this: Will it drive me nuts to be with my kids 24/7/365? Will I feel like I ever get a break? And if they are home all the time, will I have enough time to blog and do other things I love to do? I guess only time will tell!

    1. Yes, I did forget that one! 🙂 that was a fear & still often is a concern. There are rough days when I threaten them with public school. (Shhh!) 😉 I luckily have a very supportive husband who knows I need a break at times.

  4. Hello, I am wondering if you could help me figure out how to convince a judge that this is a good thing. I live in Alabama and homeschooling is not popular with the judges and lawyers in our area. Most of them want kids in public school. We are grandparents who were asked to raise our grandchildren by their mother and fathers and now one of the fathers is wanting his boy back after five years of us having him. Thomas, the boy, is now 7 years old and has been “unschooling” for three plus years and would not fit in to a regular school as he is not reading yet (not interested until recently) and I am not sure what to do about this idea when we go to court. If you have any advice it would surely be GREATLY appreciated. I am not asking you to be a lawyer, just a loving parent who might be able to help out another loving parent. These boys (there are two permanent and one part-time – kind of hard to explain the situation) boys in our lives ages 7, 5, and 3 and we love them like our own as they have been ours most of their lives and have lived with us all of their lives. I am really nervous (read as TERRIFIED) that we might lose him over this one thing. Please help if you can. Thanks and blessed be. KJD

    1. I am so sorry for your struggle! I would look into the homeschooling laws in your state as well as check out the site Homeschool Legal Defense. As far as convincing a judge, I think the best way is by explaining how well it works for the children and documenting their learning and progress. That is harder with unschoolng, I know. But they are learning, despite it being in a more informal way. Share with them your love and concern for the children, your past with them, and all you do for them. I think (hope) anyone who sees a loving concerned parent wouldn’t take them away based on their choice of schooling. Best of luck! I hope things work out for the best for your family!

  5. Kelly, I feel so blessed to live in Texas where we do not have these struggles with homeschooling. The Homeschool Legal Defense is definitely a place to start.

    Karyn, I agree learning along side my children is so much fun and very rewarding. I also agree that our homeschool days are not perfect. Of course I lose my patience from time to time. But I think that’s just part of being a mother. Having said that, I would not trade homeschooling for anything. I am thankful to be with my children as they grow and learn.

  6. I love this list that you put together! I too had a ton of fears but like you, they disappeared the longer I homeschooled. I hear a lot of moms say they could never homeschool because they aren’t patient enough and I remind them (humbly and kindly) that impatience is a sin and it’s better to deal with it than use it as an excuse. I have had to repent of impatience often and have seen the Lord grow me in my patience over the years as I homeschool my kids. Thanks for writing this… I pinned it as well. 😉

  7. Hi my big problem has been meeting up with other home schoolers for days out …
    we are in London UK ……I feel ready to throw in the towl at this point really feel isolated
    I would really appreciate any information on this …..please

    1. I live in the U.S. so I can’t say much for homeschooling in the U.K., however it has worked well for us to create some good friends locally who also homeschool. We connected at the beginning through online forums and chat groups. We have a good online network where I live and I began going to events (or creating them as needed) and meeting people that way. Best of luck to you!!

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